Coercive Control Is Still Abuse, Even When It’s “Legal.”

Coercive Control Is Still Abuse, Even When It’s “Legal.”

Parental alienation isn’t just about cutting a parent out of a child’s life, it’s about reshaping that child’s entire emotional reality.

When a child becomes too afraid to show affection for one parent, when they learn that praise is betrayal, when they’re taught to roll their eyes at love and reward rejection with approval, we call that “their choice” but it’s not. It’s coercion.

Some parents use fear. Others use guilt. Most use silence. And the result is a child who performs estrangement out of survival.

And yet, our courts treat this behavior like “preference.” They write it off as a phase, as loyalty, or worse, as proof that the rejected parent must have done something wrong.

But here’s the truth:

No child naturally “hates” a safe and loving parent without being influenced.

No child learns to ignore birthdays, holidays, or memories, unless it benefits someone else.

No child ignores their parents texts or phone calls without backup.

No child becomes terrified of showing warmth, unless love has been weaponized.

This isn’t high conflict. This is psychological abuse.

And the fact that it’s being ignored, or even sanctioned, by professionals who claim to act “in the best interest of the child” is one of the most urgent and devastating failures of our family court system.

Children don’t deserve to be taught that love is dangerous.

They don’t deserve to become pawns in a narrative shaped by an insecure, angry, or vengeful adults.

They deserve the right to love both parents without fear.

They deserve freedom from psychological control.

And they deserve a system that can tell the difference between a child’s voice, and a script they’ve been forced to memory.