top of page

Does your ex encourage your child to run to the GAL or their counselor every time you do something they may not like?

Parents should not encourage their child to run to the guardian ad Litem (GAL) or the child's counselor every time the other parent does something the child doesn't like for several important reasons

Encouraging a child to report the other parent's actions to the in GAL or counselor can create a sense of obligation in the child to act as a messenger or spy. This can lead to emotional manipulation and stress for the child, as they may feel torn between their parents' conflicting expectations.

Instructing a child to monitor and report on the other parent's behavior can lead to parentification, where the child is placed in a role that is inappropriate for their age and developmental stage. This dynamic can harm the child's emotional well-being and interfere with their healthy development.

Using the GAL or counselor as a mediator for every disagreement between the parents can escalate conflict and tension within the family. It can further strain the co-parenting relationship and undermine attempts to foster a cooperative and child-centered parenting approach.

Constantly involving external stakeholders like the GAL or counselor in minor disagreements or misunderstandings can erode trust and communication between the parents. It can hinder efforts to build a foundation of trust and collaboration necessary for effective co-parenting and child-rearing.

Encouraging a child to act as a messenger or informant in parental conflicts can have negative psychological effects on the child. It can create anxiety, guilt, and confusion, leading to emotional distress and compromising the child's sense of security and well-being.

In situations where there are genuine concerns about a child's safety or well-being, it is crucial for parents to address these issues directly with each other or through appropriate legal channels, rather than placing the burden on the child to navigate complex adult dynamics. Open communication, respect for boundaries, and a focus on the child's best interests are essential principles for fostering a healthy co-parenting relationship and supporting the well-being of the child.



bottom of page