
Parental alienation can be a sensitive and nuanced issue. The following questions are designed to help gather information about a child’s experiences and perceptions in a manner that is non-leading, child-focused, and appropriate. These questions aim to identify potential signs of alienation while being mindful of the child’s age and feelings. These are for educational purposes and should be used with professional guidance.
General Relationship with Both Parents
1. Can you tell me what you like about spending time with [Parent A]?
2. Can you tell me what you like about spending time with [Parent B]?
3. How do you feel when you’re with [Parent A]?
4. How do you feel when you’re with [Parent B]?
5. What activities do you enjoy doing with each parent?
6. Do you feel comfortable talking to both parents about your feelings?
7. Do you ever feel like one parent is upset with you for spending time with the other parent?
Statements or Beliefs About Each Parent
8. What do you think [Parent A] is like as a person?
9. What do you think [Parent B] is like as a person?
10. Have you heard anything about [Parent A] that makes you uncomfortable?
11. Have you heard anything about [Parent B] that makes you uncomfortable?
12. Has anyone told you that one parent doesn’t love you or care about you?
13. Have you ever been told to keep secrets from one parent?
14. Have you ever been told something bad about one parent by the other parent?
Changes in Relationships
15. How has your relationship with [Parent A] changed over time?
16. How has your relationship with [Parent B] changed over time?
17. Do you feel closer to one parent than the other? Why?
18. Are there things you used to do with one parent that you don’t do anymore? Why?
19. Has one parent ever told you not to see or talk to the other parent?
Influence from Others
20. Do you hear other family members say things about [Parent A] or [Parent B]?
21. Do you ever feel like you need to choose between your parents?
22. Has anyone ever asked you to spy on or report what happens at one parent’s house?
23. Do you feel like you need to protect one parent from the other parent?
24. Do your friends say things about your parents that upset you?
Time with Each Parent
25. Do you look forward to spending time with [Parent A]? Why or why not?
26. Do you look forward to spending time with [Parent B]? Why or why not?
27. Do you feel the same way about spending time with both parents?
28. Do you feel like you get enough time with each parent?
29. Has one parent ever stopped you from going to the other parent’s house?
Communication Between Parents
30. Do your parents talk to each other about you?
31. Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in the middle when your parents argue?
32. Do your parents say nice things about each other?
33. Have you ever felt like one parent was angry because you spent time with the other?
Feelings About the Situation
34. How do you feel about living with [Parent A]?
35. How do you feel about living with [Parent B]?
36. Do you feel loved by both of your parents?
37. Is there anything you wish you could tell your parents but feel you can’t?
38. Do you ever feel scared or worried about seeing one of your parents?
39. Have you ever been asked to choose between your parents?
40. Is there anything else you’d like to share about your family or how you feel?
Important Note:
The answers to these questions must be interpreted carefully by a qualified professional, such as a child psychologist, family therapist, or custody evaluator, who understands the dynamics of parental alienation and can identify if the behaviors indicate alienation or are part of a broader family conflict. This advice cannot be considered legal advice and is for educational purposes only. For legal advice, consult a qualified attorney.
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