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Are You An Alienated Parent Who Finally Gets To Spend Time With Your Child?

Here's some advice from other alienated parents who have been or who are currently in your shoes.

"Praise the lord be thankful and hope for more and more time together and keep fighting they need you".

"I just had time with my almost 17 year old son after 1 year and 10 months with no contact, I was nervous and anxious. I just vibes off of him, and kept it light & as normal as possible, don’t push or ask just let her be herself with you & her guard will come down when she doesn’t feel any pressure from you. These kids get enough of that from the other parent. I had only 2 hours. When he 1st saw me he hugged me & cried, (he usually doesn’t show emotion) last time he cried he was about 3 or 4 so for me that was HUGE. I wish you a blessed reunion & take it all in, most importantly be present, she will feel your love come through ❤️"

"Be kind patient and understanding".

"Do all the positive & creative things you & your family do, especially what other family does not do.

Make all of it as Fun & Exciting as possible, More".

"Just enjoy and don't try to set the record straight. enjoy making up lost time".

"Vent to us here. This is NOT the time to discuss ANY issues other than how fun or great the child is… even if bad behavior comes out, try to stay focused".

"I’m SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU ❤️❤️ 1st. Take NOTHING your child says or does personally. 2nd. No matter what your child says to you, respond positively - even when it really, really hurts; personally, I told my own children (for 6 years) that I understood and respected how they felt, but that didn’t change how I felt about them - nothing they could ever do or say would ever make me stop loving them or stop showing up for our visits. 3rd. Your child may be really uncomfortable and withdrawn if it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other- be prepared for that. 4th. Have some age appropriate activities & questions about what your child has been doing for fun, looking forward to etc. prepared - anything OTHER than the divorce/separation - everything positive.

It DOES get better. They DO grow up and REMEMBER you".

"Don’t focus on any alienation stuff at all. Just focus on them and what’s important to them. Ask about their friends and hobbies, what they’re enjoying in school at the moment, anything that shows them you’re genuinely interested.

I’ve been reconnected with my adult son now for about 6 months and I still haven’t brought it up. Time and distance will allow us to talk it through eventually, but for now he just needs his mom to be genuine and involved.

SHOWING them that you aren’t what the other person says is all that will convince them and win them back".

"Focus upon the Child not the issues"

"Just love them"

"If it isn't positive and fun don't do it. Remind them of past good times with, "remember when we...." reinforce this often so they relive it in their mind. Tell them "there is a lot of things you won't understand but keep in the back of your mind that I do everything to make agreat future."

"Act and do things that are the opposite of what the alienator is saying about you. Be loving, be fun, and enjoy the time"!

"Listen. Listen. Listen".

"Focus on the present and be mindful that your children are doing the best that they can. Always remind yourself of that and do the best you can. Be who you are as a parent, setting boundaries and expectations as you normally would. Keep your opinions about the other parent to yourself, and always be positive".

"Enjoy time together"

"Have a photo album and pics and vids on your phone so they can see the and remember.

Talk about the good times you had previously and plan for further good times.

And make sure if you make some sort of promise that you keep it…shows trust".

"Make it easy, have fun"

"Play normal, act normal, be normal and Expect nothing"!

"Focus on the child. Show love. Don’t burden her or him with your “ stuff”. Be the grown up".

"Hubby fought for YEARS over his kids whom he had 50 50 he got tired said f it they will find me when they are adults...and they did"

"Patience undwrstanding love"

"Keep the conversation full of light-hearted fun. Tell jokes, funny stories, invite the child to tell you all about everything great that is going on with friends, with school, with sports....and do something child friendly that takes pressure off the situation....but still allows conversation. Go bowling, go to a museum....go to play putt-putt golf. Don't bring up the past, don't dig for info about other adults, don't try to buy their love, don't get weepy. Buy a small item that they can remember the fun times when they look at it or play with it. Develop a few "traditions" like a special hug, a wink, a song you sing together that is fun....something they associate with you. Be the grown up who doesn't bring more grown-up stress into the situation. Be normal, be loving, shine your special light".

"Don't bring up the other parents mishaps. Don't blame. Don't try to resolve anything. Just enjoy ur child. Tell them ur willing to answer anything they wish to answer in due time Ask about school. About interests that may hv changed in their lyfe. STAY AWAY FROM PROVING UR POINT...."

"No questions asked. About the past"

"Smile, hold a container for the kid to empty its backpack in and then dispose of it. And look forward, you cannot change the past anyway. Ignore logic, use empaty and enjoy".

"Don’t bring up the past unless they ask. Don’t talk bad about the other parent. Record all drop offs and pick ups in secret recorder. Send only text messages when talking to other parents. Don’t have another person of the opposite

Sex spend the night when kid is present. Love love love. Go pick out some room decore for your kids room. With your kid. Make the kids room feel like home".

"Boundaries. They have also been in survival mood, and it can spark a manipulation for us alienated parents to be taken advantage of..."

"Don't say a WORD about the other parent, the courts, etc. - just keep it light and fun".

"It helped me to decide my task was Connection, not Correction".

"Try not to talk about what happened. There is plenty of other stuff to talk about. They have family medical history they need to know about is one".


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