"It Happens To Mom's Too" "It Happens To Dads Too"

Every time a meme calls out “mothers” or “fathers” in parental alienation, the comment section fills with the same chorus: “It happens to moms too!” or “It happens to dads too!”

Yes, it does. Alienation isn’t owned by one gender. But here’s the thing: sometimes we need gender-specific language to expose the hypocrisy and patterns that are actually happening in courtrooms.

In practice, the system isn’t neutral. Courts are far more likely to hand custody to mothers, even when alienation or abuse is documented.

Fathers are more often painted as “dangerous” or “unfit,” and mothers are more often excused under the label “protective.” If we avoid naming these patterns because we’re afraid of hurting feelings, we stay stuck in denial.

When a meme says “alienating mother,” it’s not saying every mother alienates and it’s not saying mothers don’t get alienated. It’s pointing to a real, recognizable tactic many mothers use, and that courts enable. Same goes when the focus is on alienating fathers. Generalizing everything into “parents” lets everyone off the hook.

Pointing out that mothers alienate doesn’t erase fathers’ experiences, and vice versa. Gender-specific memes zoom in on one set of tactics at a time so the abuse is harder to dodge. If you only ever say “parents alienate,” it sounds vague. If you call it out with specificity, it stings, because it hits truth.

If alienation truly “happens to both,” then people shouldn’t be threatened by gender-specific memes. They should recognize them as one half of the picture.

We don’t fix alienation by watering down the truth to keep it “neutral.” We fix it by calling out the exact behaviors, the exact biases, the exact experiences and yes, the gendered patterns that keep kids trapped. Erasing gender from the conversation doesn’t liberate anyone. It silences accountability and only protects the abusers.