Call It Whatever You Want, The Outcome Is the Same

Call It Whatever You Want, The Outcome Is the Same

Parental alienation.

Coercive control.

Domestic abuse by proxy.

Pathogenic parenting.

High-conflict custody.

We’ve heard them all. We’ve watched professionals twist and dilute them. And we’ve seen entire organizations attempt to erase the term parental alienation altogether.

The Real Problem Isn’t What We Call It

A parent recently said something that stuck with me:

“I think the problem is coming from Parental Alienation having too many definitions. It’s kind of a catch-all term or umbrella term. Domestic abuse by proxy is one way to describe PA. I’m sure there are others. But I think that’s why we have organizations trying to discredit the term. It’s become the chosen name for this epidemic of courtroom abuse.”

And they’re right.

They fight over the definition.

They say it’s “unproven.”

They say it’s “weaponized.”

They say it’s “only used by abusive men”

But the truth is: they don’t need to believe in it or name it for it to destroy lives.

Whether you call it coercive control, gatekeeping, malicious parent syndrome, or just “bad behavior”, the result is predictable:

A child learns to reject a parent who never harmed them.

A fit parent is gaslit, silenced, and pathologized.

The courts reward whoever creates the most chaos.

And the system keeps billing hours while the family bleeds.

Call it domestic violence by proxy.

Call it psychological kidnapping.

Call it a broken custody model.

Just stop pretending it’s not real.

The problem isn’t the name. It’s the outcome.

Instead of debating what to call it, let’s talk about:

Why courts grant custody to the more manipulative parent

Why fit, loving parents are being erased without abuse allegations

Why children are taught to fear the safe parent

Why professionals look the other way until it’s too late

You don’t need to believe in the term to see the truth.

Millions of erased parents and manipulated children are living it.

This isn’t about terminology.

This is about truth.

Parental alienation, whatever you want to call it, is the name we gave to a pattern that too many professionals want to ignore.

But parents aren’t ignoring it anymore.

We’re naming it.

We’re documenting it.

And we’re coming for the silence that protects it.