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Why Does My Parent Tell Me What To Say To My Therapist & Why Are They Always Around When I’m Speaking to Them I Feel That I Can’t Speak My Truth.


Parents may coach their children on what to say to their therapist and not give them privacy during therapy sessions as a means of maintaining control and influencing the narrative. This behavior is often seen in cases of parental alienation, where one parent seeks to undermine the relationship between the child and the other parent.


Here are some reasons why alienating parents may engage in such behavior:


1. Control: By coaching their children on what to say to the therapist, alienating parents can manipulate the information that is shared during the sessions. This allows them to control the narrative and potentially discredit the other parent or influence the therapist's perception of the situation.


2. Validation of Their Perspective: Alienating parents may fear that the child will express thoughts or feelings that contradict their narrative, so they coach the child to ensure that the therapist hears only the information that aligns with their perspective. This helps to validate their beliefs and maintain the alienation process.


3. Fear of Exposure: Alienating parents may be concerned that the child will reveal aspects of their behavior or the alienation tactics being employed, which could be perceived negatively by the therapist. By coaching the child and monitoring the therapy sessions, they aim to prevent any information that may reflect poorly on them from coming to light.


4. Maintaining the Narrative: Alienating parents often have a specific narrative or agenda that they want to promote, such as portraying the other parent in a negative light or justifying their alienating behaviors. By controlling what the child says during therapy and not allowing privacy, they can ensure that their version of events is reinforced and not challenged.


5. Lack of Respect for the Child's Autonomy: Alienating parents may view their children as extensions of themselves or pawns in their strategies, rather than individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and rights to privacy. This lack of respect for the child's autonomy can lead to invasive behavior during therapy sessions.


6. Projection of Guilt: Alienating parents may feel guilty about their actions and behaviors that contribute to the alienation process. By coaching their children and not allowing privacy in therapy sessions, they can shift the blame onto the other parent or avoid facing their own role in the situation.


7. Control Over the Child's Perception: Alienating parents may want to control how the child perceives the therapy process and the therapist. By coaching the child and monitoring the sessions, they can influence the child's opinion of therapy and potentially discourage them from opening up or forming a positive relationship with the therapist.


8. Impeding Progress: Alienating parents may fear that therapy sessions could lead to an improvement in the parent-child relationship or a reduction in alienation behaviors. By coaching the child and interfering with the therapeutic process, they aim to impede any progress that could challenge their desired outcome.


9. Maintaining Power Dynamics: Alienating parents often seek to maintain power and control within the family dynamic. By coaching the child and not allowing privacy in therapy sessions, they reinforce their authority over the child and prevent any information from surfacing that could challenge their position of dominance.


10. Validation of Their Identity: Alienating parents may have constructed their identity around being the victim or the superior parent in the situation. By controlling the information shared in therapy and influencing the child's statements, they seek to uphold this identity and reinforce their sense of self-worth and righteousness.


It's important to recognize the detrimental impact that this behavior can have on the child's well-being and the therapeutic process. Therapy should ideally provide a safe and confidential space for the child to express themselves and work through their emotions without undue influence from either parent.

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